Invisible Shadow

navigating the hills and valleys

New Heights

021613 rocks 004Today has been such an interesting day.  Truly, in many ways.  As someone who has lived with bipolar disorder for more than fifty years, I’m always a bit tempted to blame the “good days” on nothing more than a sporadic upswing of manic energy, and even though that may have something to do with my overall feeling of wellness and light energy today, I choose not to let that possibility subtract from the reality that today has been awesome.  Spectacular, even.

First, I switched up my routine, and decided to greet the sun today.  Anyone who knows me even a little bit will tell you that I am a dedicated night owl, through and through, and I am most definitely NOT a morning person.  Grouchy mean face is what I usually see in the mirror every morning, but not today.  Nope.  Today I had much to accomplish in one day.  I needed those extra hours this morning, so it was up at sunrise, or I wouldn’t have had enough day to meet my long list of tasks.  I was extra kind to myself, since I was shaking up the routine, but surprisingly, I forgot to notice that it was much earlier than usual.  I was too busy getting busy.

Later in the day, I met someone new, and he surprised me, and I was intrigued from the moment I met him (a young man I met during the course of my continued house-hunting exploration).  We started off speaking about one thing, and it turned into something else altogether.  From woodworking to photography to Judaism, all in one conversation.  We probably could have continued on for a quite a while, but we both had other obligations.  Such an interesting young man.  Such an abundance of pure spirit, and intention.  How refreshing.

As I continued working my way through my list of tasks, for a moment there I forgot all about sickness, or financial distress, or uncertainty, or fear.  I was completely captivated by the urgency to “get things done”.  From one task to the next, I just kept moving forward, knowing that if I hoped to accomplish what I needed to accomplish in this day, I had to stay on track and push through the temptation to loiter.

Well, that’s not EXACTLY true.  I chose my moments to loiter.

I watched a child playing basketball in the street.  He was much too small to be able to reach the hoop, but that didn’t stop him from trying, again and again.  I watched a lady with five large dogs walking through the neighborhood, all of them straining at the leash, wanting to go in their own direction.  Five leaders, and no followers.  I watched the wind tickle what remained of the rust-colored leaves on the trees, and was surprised to already see new growth, green and vibrant, pushing towards the coming spring.  The old and the new, next to one another, in harmony.  I cranked up the radio, and actually really LISTENED to an old rock and roll favorite, (Sweet Child of Mine), and smiled at how it dipped me back to a time long gone by.  I visited a few blogs, and absorbed the messages shared, and took the time to comment on a few, or to click a LIKE button.  I inhaled the smell of freshly sawed wood, and allowed it to take me on a memory wave of happy days when building something (from nothing more than an idea in your head) filled you with a sense of accomplishment.  I brushed the dog, and threw the monkey, and then threw the monkey again, and again.  And I stacked stones, finally reaching that ninth level.  I’ve been stuck on eight stones high for a while now, and today, I knew I was going to hit nine, and sure enough, that ninth stone hovered unsteadily for a moment, and then settled in and decided to enjoy the view.

Believe it or not, despite all the loitering, I managed to check every item off my list.  I’ve already started a new list for tomorrow, but for now, I think I’ll go back to stacking stones.  Who knows, maybe there’s a ten in my future.

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing.  It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”  Voltaire, philosopher

“A smile is the beginning of peace.”  Mother Teresa, humanitarian and missionary

“Reflect upon your blessings, of which every man has plenty, and not upon your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”  Charles Dickens, novelist

photo:  taken by ntexas99, 021613, New Heights

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February 17, 2013 - Posted by | healing, manic depression, spirituality | , , , ,

6 Comments »

  1. May you enjoy more spectacular days! It sounds wonderful.

    Comment by Judy | February 17, 2013 | Reply

  2. It is such a pleasure to read of your beautiful and invigorating day. I have a very strong feeling that more good news is coming our way. Sending you good wishes and a smile, my dear.

    Comment by ShimonZ | February 17, 2013 | Reply

  3. I so needed to read this today since I am full of aggravation and need to find some peace. Thank you for taking me on your journey . . . I feel a ten in your future.

    Comment by Barbara Kass | February 17, 2013 | Reply

  4. What a wonderful day! It’s about time for you, 99! May it be the first in a series.

    Comment by Elyse | February 17, 2013 | Reply

  5. Glad to hear that you had a peaceful day. I like the idea of “greeting the sun.” The sun’s warmth and brightness is so energizing.

    Comment by Dienna | February 17, 2013 | Reply

  6. I’ve always loved lists. I think because there was so much that was unstable growing up that lists give me that sense of control of the uncontrollable. I feel such pleasure and satisfaction in marking things off the list. It is a true sense of accomplishment for me. I’m glad that this was a true good day – I believe it is so. Congrats on level 9! <3 Peace

    Comment by thejourneyofmyhealing | February 18, 2013 | Reply


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