Awards
Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. I sincerely appreciate that you took time out of your busy day to share some time in my little corner of the world. It is nice to know that we can connect with one another, even though we may live in different countries or different time zones.
Several kind people have mentioned that they were going to nominate me for one of the many blogging awards that are out there being shared among bloggers. As someone who has been blogging for more than ten years under various formats, I can remember how thrilling it was the first time my blog was noticed by someone who actually thought highly enough of my blog to nominate it for an award. I felt that electric thrill of excitement when you realize that your words actually are being read by someone, and that they actually think they are worthy of an award. It was fun and exciting and very gratifying.
However, as someone who has an extreme amount of difficulty in all things of a social nature, it also invariably and inadvertently causes me to experience an extreme amount of distress. I am not comfortable with the “tell me more about yourself” part of the equation, which people find hard to believe considering that much of my writing includes some very personal information.
Then I obsess and worry that in nominating others, that I will surely leave out someone that I should have considered, either due to my forgetfulness or because of limited parameters. I am currently linked to over 200 blogs, give or take a few, and it would be impossible to narrow down any list to just a select few. Funniest? Best photography? Most inspirational? Most creative? Too many parameters.
Never mind that I’m technologically challenged and often have difficulty just figuring out how to make something appear in bold print, or how to insert a hyperlink into text, or how to link words with pictures. The idea of all those links within one blog post makes my head hurt, and I’m almost surely going to mess up at least one of them, which takes me back to worrying about who is going to feel slighted or left out or offended, and around and around it goes.
Thank you for so graciously thinking of me and wanting to send a bit of recognition my way, but please be a pal and send your nomination to someone else; someone who will surely be just as sincerely thrilled and appreciative as I am for your kind thoughts. Thanks so much for your understanding.
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obvious postscript … I don’t wish to be rude and fail to acknowledge when someone has nominated my blog for an award, so, for now, I will collect them here and continue to evaluate my overall thinking on the subject.
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Jan 19, 2010 … thank you and appreciation
to Julie Catherine, who has bestowed on me
every rule, as they say, must be
broken at least one time, right?
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Jan 27, 2012 … Even though I prefer not to participate in awards, I am still incredibly grateful to Kathryn for nominating me for the Candle Lighter Award.
I wish it might have happened on a better day when I wasn’t embroiled within a very difficult internal struggle, but then again, perhaps it is appropriate that it might be on this day. In any case, much appreciation, and thanks. Kathryn at kiwisparks is someone who consistently inspires and delights my senses and fills my heart with inspiration, and that makes her nod of recognition even that much more appreciated.
Feb 4, 2012 … Today, as usual, I was reading the daily blog post of zendictive, where I was surprised to discover that he had nominated my blog for the Liebster Award. I appreciate that he would be so kind to point people to my blog, especially considering that I wouldn’t even begin to consider myself to be in the same category as his zen-filled and inspirational blog. Thank you.
Feb 18, 2012 … As I was reading through comments on my blog, I was quite surprised to find that I had been nominated for the 7 X 7 Award by TJ at FindingMyWorth, especially since I haven’t even been adding any new content to my blog for almost a week now, (which kind of breaks the basic rules of good blogging). In any case, I appreciate that you have been kind enough to send this award my way, and apologize for not responding in the traditional manner. I should add that your blog is one that is often filled with generous words of inspiration, and especially with some of the lessons from your own journey through life, and I sincerely appreciate your kindness. Thank you for thinking of me. 
Feb 28, 2012 … Today as I was sorting through my many daily email notifications from the various blogs that I follow, I was surprised to find a notification from zendictive, indicating that earlier today he had nominated me for the Sunshine Award. This award is meant to acknowledge people who have a blog that brings sunshine into the life of others, which I think describes his blog very accurately. His blog is consistently filled with stories of inspiration and wisdom, and is one of the many blogs that I read every day to help me remember to appreciate what is good about life, and to remember to focus on the positive. I am humbled that he would include me in such company.
March 25, 2012 — on a day when I have hardly anything to say at all, and I’m certainly not feeling very inspirational, and can’t even seem to collect two thoughts in a row, wouldn’t you know that would be the day that Mona decides to send the Very Inspiring Blogger Award in my direction? It is very gracious of her to share this award with me. Her blog is filled with an interesting mixture of beautiful photography, inspirational anecdotes, and a fresh take on the ordinary bits of life. I can easily see how someone would nominate her blog for this award, and am incredibly grateful that she felt inspired to share the award with me. Thank you.
About
using this as a safe space to quietly think out loud
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caution: some content may be triggering or offensive. That means this blog is intended for mature audiences only. No exceptions. Thanks.
about me: I’m a fifty-ish person that has lived for many years with major depression, as well as PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), DID (dissassociative identity disorder), BPD (borderline personality disorder), BAD (bipolar affective disorder, sometimes known as manic depression), and a host of other equally inconvenient labels that persistently get in the way of me living a quiet and otherwise normal life.
Generally speaking, these conditions can mostly be traced back to my ongoing journey of recovery from a very abusive and humiliating version of childhood that left me feeling unlovable and damaged and broken. The psychological and physical damage have carried over into adulthood, and although it’s often been an uphill battle, as the years have progressed, I’ve learned more and more about how to adapt. I’m always open to exploring new methods that might improve my quality of life, and I believe in sharing information with others that might be traveling a similar journey. My hope is that my blog space might help inspire, or encourage. We’re in this together.
Some days, we simply have to hang on long enough to allow the scenery to change. Those days will pass. Really, they will.
Some of my history: I was married for eighteen years to a man who was mostly kind and gentle, and we shared a lot of laughter and love. During this time, I was fortunate to be given the opportunity to raise two uniquely different sons who are now grown and married, and still surprise me on a fairly regular basis. Despite being raised in a home affected by a parent struggling with psychological issues, they have matured into decent and kind young men.
I’m also lucky to have two daughter-in-laws that are both excellent moms and very strong women. They are what every mother hopes for when their son finds a life partner. Additionally, I’m blessed with three beautiful grandchildren, who are all three nearly grown now, even though Nana tends to forget that they aren’t babies anymore. To me, they’ll always be my precious sweeties.
These days I do what I can to continue in my determination to survive, (and thrive), and in the process try to appreciate the beauty that surrounds me. I make an intentional effort to keep an open mind and an open spirit. Despite the negatives or challenges that can punctuate any life experience, I spend a considerable amount of time being grateful and appreciative of my overall life journey. I like to learn, so I’m always asking questions. I believe if we can help someone, we should, and that a generosity of spirit is not a sign of weakness, but rather, a gift of love.
In the end, I expect to pass from this life with more questions than answers, and I’m okay with that. Really.
I chose the photo above as a reminder to notice the beautiful, and because the energy of the vibrant colors contrasted against the delicate wings of the butterfly speaks to my sense of continuity and balance. Thanks for visiting my blog today.
you can send an email to: ntexas99 @ yahoo dot com
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